I'm Back

I am back from my hiatus, I have missed blogging. I wish I had some reason to give to explain why I have been MIA since april but the only word that came to mind when trying to think of one was OVERWHELMED.

One of the biggest challenges that has presented itself to me this time around is getting over the fear of really seriously trying, giving it my all and still failing. In the past when I was making half hearted attempts  (we all know how well those turn out!) it was so easy to say oh well it didn't work but I wasn't really trying anyway. Well this time around I have been exercising, eating right and I am stuck! I am down 20 pounds and yeah I know, that is awesome but when you have about 55 pounds left and you see the scale stuck, 20 pounds seems like nothing. But it isn't so much that stuck part that scares me, it was the what if I work my butt off figuratively and my butt stays big anyway literally!

Daddy and I

Well you know what I have decided.... It won't! It isn't happening as quickly as I want it to, it isn't as easy as I wish it was and I am still not 5'10 and 110 pounds (crazy that I didn't gain 10 inches and lose 60 pounds in 2 months I know!) With our wedding fast approaching I am giving myself permission to let go of this fantasy that I am going to be able to get my "dream body" by October. Fitness and Nutrition is a life long journey and it isn't going to adhere to my wedding schedule (RUDE!)

I also have decided that this little blog, is not going to be a weight loss blog. It just isn't who I am, it is a part of who I am and it will still have a place here but it isn't going to be the blog entirely. I am so much more then my jean size or that number on the scale that is currently refusing to budge. I am a girl who can not wait to go from Miss to Mrs, who adores her brothers and laughs DAILY with my mother. I still like to call my dad, daddy from time to time and I still get afraid of the dark sometimes when I am home alone. I love to read, in fact I am a tad obsessed, music is my drug and Mr. Darcy makes me swoon. I am extremely self conscious about my height and wear heels faithfully even when it kills my feet. I love coffee even though I wish I liked tea better and I am slightly crazy about pumpkin, I live for the rainy days , the fall and winter. I will be a happy girl if when we buy a home it has a fireplace. My goal in life is to be a mother and I am convinced that is why I am here. I have no career ambitions and I have become OK with that, it doesn't mean I am lazy or have no drive it just means it isn't my thang. I have a passion for baking and cooking, healthy and otherwise. Oh something else you should know about me, I am a crier. I seriously cry over movies, occasionally songs, I am a compassionate crier and have even been know to cry over t.v commercials.

My mom is a riot

But long story short I am back, hopefully for good because this is a place for me to just simply be me. Which is currently a chubby little short girl just trying to live a beautiful life and become the best me that I can be! Thanks for sticking by me, a couple of you even contacted me with encouragement, and I just want you to know how much it meant to me and what a huge factor it was in me not giving up.

My bestie Nicole and I

Check back tomorrow for my first day of from couch to 5k...... (cue the dun ... dun.... duuuuuun)